An obituary serves as a way to remember an individual. It can be brief or lengthy depending on the writer and depending on how much is known about the individual.
Certain items should be placed in the obituary. Begin with the name, age, and town of residence of the deceased, along with the date and place of death. Some newspapers will suggest that it is better to write the person “died” and others will publish whatever the family wrote. Use what you feel is appropriate. I would not publish the exact cause of death unless you have communicated this with the family and received their permission.
Recount the most important events, qualities, contributions and connections in a person’s life. For example, include education, employment or career, and military service. List events chronologically. Do mention significant contributions and recognitions in the person’s life. Did her sense of humor brighten your life, did he always make time for the kid’s games? Did she make guests feel welcome? Paint her picture in the obituary with these details.
The obituary is for the living too, and one of the most important parts is the listing of survivors and those who preceded your loved one in death. we list survivors first, starting with the closest relations: spouse, children, grandchildren, great and great-great grandchildren, parents, and siblings. If any of these relations are nonexistent or have died, skip and move to the next relation. List relatives with their first name, spouse’s first name in parenthesis, then surname.
Here are the essentials for the service information: time, full date and place of service along with the name of the officiate; time, full date and place of burial or interment or cremation if applicable; and finally, time, full date and place of visitation(s).
Photos add to the cost of an obituary if it is published in a newspaper. Avoid using a photograph that is too old.
At the end of an obituary a special message is sometimes found, such as ‘in lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to..’ or ‘Special Thanks to the staff at hospital or rehabilitation facility’
The obituary that is the most meaningful not necessarily the one that runs in the New York Times, or has the most column inches, but the one that is a well thought out work of the heart; one that is informative, expressive, and easy to read. Your funeral director can make suggestions to improve the obituary. Use the funeral director as your resource.